i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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