He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
