I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize