some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
