Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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