the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize