I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
