So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize