She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
