Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
