im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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