yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So many bounce houses so little time
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
