Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
