i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
