I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
