Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
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