It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
