Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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