You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
