i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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