I heard we made out
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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