i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
