On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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