Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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