hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
