nut hugger
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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