Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
