I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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