I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
