big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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