On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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