In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
