Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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