you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
