I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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