i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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