i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
They are going to name an STD after you.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
