Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
