im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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