And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
