Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
