his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
