My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize