Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
