I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You dont lie about slip and slides
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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