I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
