I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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