does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize