How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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