I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
