tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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