I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize