My liver just broke up with me...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
