chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
