O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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