Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I didn't notice because vodka
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
