How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize