Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
