I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
