Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
