marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
sex in a hospital.. check
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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