these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
