he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize