She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
