the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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