from now on my penis is your penis
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You don't make any sense
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