i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize