I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
