I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
