Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
