Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
