Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
