Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize