My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
