Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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