I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
