i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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