Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
